BMW F 800 R – “I can’t lose what I never had and you can’t take what I ain’t got”

bmw 800 rBMW F 800 R – I don’t have a BMW F 800 R motorcycle, but I can’t help but feel that having a BMW F 800R, one of the most modern-motorcycles ever designed by the German gods themselves (BMW), would bring a balance and stability to my life which seems to be eternally lacking. The BMW F 800 R is so distinctive, so capable, so strong that it makes grown men weep from a hundred paces, seducing us with every inch of it’s oh-so-very-functional good looks, begging the question…

“Why would you ever want any other bike, when you could have me?”.

I normally bang on about sex appeal and animal attraction when I talk about bikes, but let’s face it, BMW motorcycles are the thinking man’s choice and the BMW F 800 R is no different. The BMW F 800 R, like everything “BMW” is so reassuringly…well…”BMW”, that you almost don’t need to read this article to get a feel for this bike. The moment I mention BMW + Motorcycle, you instantly know what it’s all about, handsome, rugged, functional design that will last until the end of the world…and then some.  When everything in life is so unpredictable, it gives me great comfort to know that there is and always will be, BMW.

Today, I woke up early…well I say early, I live in Spain so early is anything before 10am, as my girlfriend was flying back to Madrid where she lives (I live in Barcelona, remember?), we had such an amazing weekend, and waking up next to her felt like one of those “is-this-real-or-am-I-having-one-of-my-far-too-frequent-sleepwalking-adventures-again?” kinda moments. I probably won’t be able to stop myself from spilling-out little stories about it for the next few blogs, but getting back to the point, we had to get to the “Airpuerto”. Admittedly, much more of a forward thinker than I, she wanted to take the bus, which runs directly to the airport, but costs about 6-7 euros per person. I always use the train as it’s so much cheaper and ever confident that the world would wait for us, we took the train. Of course we got to the airport about 3 painful minutes after the check-in had closed.

f800r bmw motorcycleLife’s too short to spend arguing with un-interested airline workers, so we bought a ticket for the next flight and drank a beer….it was about 10.25am but hell, Viva Espanya and all that. I held her hard and kissed her long, at least as much as I could, it gets harder and harder to let go of her every time we say goodbye, but “hey!!!..what the hell does that have to do with the BMW F 800 R“,  I hear you ask? Just bare with me……

Tonight, I went whiskey tasting with my good friend Blair Bowman, he talked about how describing a whiskey is all about bringing old memories to the surface of your mind and describing what you taste with a feeling, a memory…..I “nosed” the whiskey and was transported back to the fishing trips I used to take with my grandfather, I’m pretty sure he was having something a little extra with his coca-cola if-ya-know-what-I-mean and the smell instantly brought visions to my mind of him roaring with laughter as we sat on the boat and ate roast chicken, I’ll never forget that, I really won’t.

For me, motorcycles, somehow, become like the characters in my life, feelings, replacing and reflecting what I see in people and places, a little strange I know. The BMW F 800 R, has been on my mind a lot recently, and has taken the shape of a firm hand on my shoulder, re-assuring me that no matter what happens, how out of control my life becomes, there will always be the BMW 800 R motorcycle, whether I have one or not. Strange? YES! but it works for me! It must be some kind of control thing, knowing that it can’t be taken away from me, especially as I don’t own one.

I let go and she walked to her gate, I always get an overwhelming feeling that I’m doing the wrong thing, that we shouldn’t be saying goodbye, that it’s up to me to make things the way I want them to be, but for now I guess it’s just the way it is.

bmw 800I fell fast asleep on the train, the kind of sleep where you wake up with your mouth wide open, staring up at the ceiling and the instant urge to check you aren’t dribbling….I wasn’t, but I sure as hell didn’t know where I was for a while. I got to Barcelona and had to head straight to work, meeting my friend on the way. The area is not a great part of Barcelona, situated about 2km outside of the city center, but I’ve always felt pretty safe there. This time, however, as I was crossing the road, in broad day light and a million people walking along next to me, I noticed 4 very smartly dressed men running. They weren’t making a sound and everyone of them had an intensity about them. Fully suited and booted, the first guy jumped on the back of this old man, he was old and frail, easily in his 70’s, and pulled is head backwards. I could see the old mans face all-be-it upside down and was shocked at the voracity of the attack. This was clearly not a random attack, and I’m pretty certain that what ever the old man had in his brief case was worth a pretty penny. I froze in disbelief, and then had an overwhelming urge to try and help, but the moment I started walking towards them, one of the other guys pulled out a pistol and stuck it in the old man’s face, screaming something or another. I turned on my heels and darted off, what was I gunna do to four guys waving guns around anyway? Who do I think I am, really?

I appreciate you started reading this because you were interested in the BMW F 800 R and I imagine at this point, you are wondering why you are still reading it, how these stories of mis-adventure have anything to with BMW motorcycles, and I guess the point is exactly that, they don’t.

Motorcycles and in particular, BMW motorcycles are all about being in complete control of your life, of your destination, of your fear, your adrenalin, your purpose, your happiness. I’m sorry if you were hoping to find an article filled with specifications about cylinder heads and piston shafts, but I hope you get the same feeling I do when you look at the BMW F 800 R, it’s been designed to give you control of your life and I don’t know about you, but personally I’m very grateful for that.

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