Kawasaki Versys – WARNING, it may turn you into a grade A PR*CK!

Kawasaki Versys – Careful it doesn’t turn you into an absolute Pr*ck!

2011 Kawasaki Versys“The Kawasaki Versys is the ideal bike for those more interested in adventure and less interested in wheelie poppin’.”

Kawasaki Versys, a bike I never thought I would write about. The first time I ever saw a Kawasaki Versys was when I was doing my motorcycle test in the UK. I did it in February, in the snow and it was a f*c%ing nightmare. At the time, I owned my 125cc Suzuki Marauder, which I loved to death, but it was slow and I had only bought it to practise on. So, I booked a 2 day intensive course with a motorcycle school in Swansea. They gave me a Honda CB500 and a high-vis jacket. I can remember getting on it and thinking it was the most powerful motorcycle in the world. I had never felt such acceleration and I remember thinking how addictive it was, it didn’t scare me, which scared me!

Day one – Hi, I ride a Kawasaki Versys and I’m a grade “A” pr*ck!

2010-versys-kawasakiMy first intensive day of training was called off because of the snow, which meant I had one day to get used to the bikes power and learn everything I needed to pass the motorcycle test. I did it just before the recent change over, apparently it’s alot harder nowadays, however, snow does have a way of making things a little bit trickier. Anyway, to get to the point, the day of my test I headed over to the motorcycle school in Swansea where there was an instructor who was going to take me out for an hour before the test, to get warmed up. He was on a Kawasaki Versys, it was (in my mind) big, black, and strange. I couldn’t work out what the hell it was. A cruiser? An adventure bike? A tourer? An Enduro bike? All I knew, was that the guy riding it, was an absolute c*ck. We had the radio ear pieces in, but the ones where only he could talk, and I could listen. He was huffing and puffing at EVERYTHING I did. I had never been on a bike bigger than a 125cc until the day before and it was snowing, “Go f8ck yourself you F*cking obnoxious pr*ck”, honestly, I was screaming it so loud, he must’ve been able to hear me, even from 50 metres behind me.

In the end, he said to head over to the test centre, I tried to lose him, and sped off as quick as I could just to piss him off. At one point, we lost radio contact and I was off my bike and waiting for him when he arrived, I ignored him and went straight into the test centre. If any body wants the name of this school, so you know who to avoid, email me!

kawasaki-versy-2011-QNBIKESI passed my test with flying colours and I had great pleasure in telling the Kawasaki Versys riding pr*ck just that, to be honest, I was so elated to have a full (I did direct access) motorcycle license, there wasn’t a chance in hell anything was going to spoil my day.

Ever since, I have winced every time I see a Kawasaki Versys, until last weekend. A good friend of mine from uni, Dave, came to see me in Barcelona to celebrate my birthday. We were in Spanish class in Swansea Metropolitan University together from 2004-2007. I don’t know what that teacher said or did to us, but we’ve both ended up living in Spain. Dave now lives in Ibiza, working as a diving instructor, now that’s a QN job!

Dave is keen to do his motorcycle license this summer and so we were talking about suitable bikes for him to get once he passes. He mentioned the Kawasaki Versys, and I felt my stomache turn over inside.

orange Kawasaki versys


“Don’t do it Dave, you’ll turn into a c*nt like my instructor”, but the more we talked about it the more it makes sense. This bike, is like Dave, it’s easy going, relaxed, but more than capable of shifting it’s arse if need be, it’s comfortable and up for an adventure. It’s not about looking the business, it’s about living the dream, about actually doing what you want to do, because it makes it so easy to do so. The Kawasaki Versys offers things like a “rubber mounted engine” to make it more comfortable and easier to ride. The foot pegs are plastered in rubber, again, maximising comfort for those long motorcycle journeys from Ibiza to Barcelona, and onto France, which we plan to do as soon as he passes his test. The Kawasaki Versys is the ideal bike for those more interested in adventure and less interested in wheelie poppin’.

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